Between a rock and a hard place

Confessions of a New Yorker Issue #1
March 5, 2008, 10:38 am
Filed under: life, ME | Tags: , ,

Hello my name is Dani and I have a confession to make  (“Hi Dani!”) I am an over the shoulder newspaper reader.

Whenever I am on the subway, and lack something of my own to occupy my time, (and even when I do) I read your newspaper over your shoulder.

I read halves of articles about Hillary, Obama, the taxi-cab baby, the weather, the economy, what horse won the race, etc, etc, etc. And frankly I do it unabashedly.

Until you catch me doing it. 

At which point I quickly avert my eyes like a fourth grade boy caught staring at the girl he likes. I’m not sure why I do it. I could easily acquire my own newspaper, I.Just.Don’t. If I did though, I would be more likely to finish an entire article. Either the masses on the 2 train are either the fastest readers this side the Mississippi or I start reading so late in the game that, I will most likely be about 1/2 way through when the page gets turned. At which point I will purse  my lips and think to myself “Damn I wonder what happened to that old woman with the 93 cats, snakes, and lemurs.” I am an over the shoulder newspaper reader.  

 The ‘odd’ part about this, other than the obvious, is that I HATE when people look over my shoulder. I can’t stand it. It drives me up a wall.

That having been said, I really have no interest in stopping. I get my tidbits of information in a decent enough amount to at least contribute to lunch room conversation; “Hey did you hear about the building collapsing in Harlem?” and then I pray that no one asks for more information, since I had only gotten through a paragraph before the page was turned….  

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