Between a rock and a hard place


Compare and Contrast
June 2, 2008, 11:18 am
Filed under: 2008, life, love, ME, memories, The Pursuit of Happiness, thoughts | Tags:

Originally poasted November 8, 2003 on an old blog.

<i> I am… on a quest for understanding

I want… things I can’t have

I have… life

I wish…I could make you see what I see and make you understand

I hate… less than most think I do.

I fear… More than I let on

I still search… for love, for a reason

I still wonder about… the future.

I regret… nothing

I love… him, you

I still always… dance instead of march to my own beat

I still am not… your keeper

I dance… through life

I sing… to keep my mind off al I’ve fucked up

I still cry… when no ones looking.

I still am not always… happy.

I still write… to people in other places reading this on their computer screen

I win… less often than not

I lose… More than I would like to take count of.

I still confuse…Most people I know

I still am confused by… you

I need… a clear idea of whats going on right now.

</i>

Today’s answers are in bold

I am… on a quest for understanding <b> I’m reasonably sure I’ll never full get this, but thats ok. </b>

I want… things I can’t have <b> To take comfort in growing up, and moving on instead of being uneasy with it</b>

I have… life <b> The beginnings of a ‘family’ of my own….Who ever would have thought </b>

I wish…I could make you see what I see and make you understand <b> I’ll always want this. </b>

I hate… less than most think I do. <b> Stupidity. And how people grow apart, how little I can remember about things that used to encompass my life, and that I’m doing well </b>

I fear… More than I let on <b> Getting old, my choices, the known </b>

I still search… for love, for a reason <b> For a balance in love, money, time, life, wants, needs….</b>

I still wonder about… the future.<b> Ditto kid, ditto </b>

I regret… nothing <b> 🙂 Somethings never change</b>

I love… him, you <b> ME! You, my dog, my carved out place </b>

I still always… dance instead of march to my own beat <b> Play my music too loud, sing off key, laugh </b>

I still am not… your keeper <b> Your scape goat. I’ve stopped. </b>

I dance… through life<b> In my kitchen, in the car, at work, mentally, to my own music </b>

I sing… to keep my mind off al I’ve fucked up <b> Too loud. </b>

I still cry… when no ones looking.<b> For people gone astray, misplaced loves, friends, sisters </b>

I still am not always… happy. <b> Content </b>

I still write… to people in other places reading this on their computer screen <b> To ease my mind </b>

I win… less often than not <b> When I can </b>

I lose… More than I would like to take count of. <b> I’m what you call unlucky </b>

I still confuse…Most people I know <b> Myself </b>

I still am confused by… you <b> The way the world works, what makes people do what the do, where I’m headed, what I’m doing, where I’m at. Him. </b>

I need… a clear idea of whats going on right now. <b> Your love </b>

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1 Comment so far
Leave a comment

it’s pretty rad that you have something so concrete to compare your mindset with 5 years ago.
i was so obtuse on my blog 4 years ago that even i, who wrote it, have no idea what i was talking about.
and, as always, i’m extremely impressed by your clarity.

Comment by kelsi




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