Between a rock and a hard place

Wedding Ideas
June 1, 2009, 8:54 pm
Filed under: 2009, Goin' to the chapel, love

Thoughts on things like that instead of a veil for a wedding? 


Because frankly I love it. They also have a white/ivory ones that I would wear for the ceremony, and then something like this for the reception!



Thoughts anyone?


The rock at Top of the Rock

Ok so Mr. Wonderful proposed Saturday night at Top of the Rock overlooking all of NYC, specifically the Empire State building. 


And here is what he offered up in hopes I’d say yes. 


So for any people who this means anything to reading this…. We’ll be adding ourselves to the long list of D/T weddings. 🙂

A blast from the past…
August 7, 2008, 7:45 pm
Filed under: life, love, ME, memories

But what if you don’t want there to be? What if you just want the past to be just that, past? a post over at This could Take Awhile got me thinking about my own past. And how really I would just like parts of it to recede into simple memories. 


Make no mistake, I don’t regret any of it. I would make the same choices again. I am a forgiving person and a half asses people pleaser. But lately I’ve started to wonder why people can’t be the same way. Specifically people I want and need in my life. Why hang on to the miniscule problems or missteps. You only miss out on the fun things in the end. 


You miss out on fun times, and one shot memories, graduations, and first cars, and mother’s day, and, and, and, and……


I live my life in the present with a good memory and an open heart.

My men. Tuckered out.
July 7, 2008, 8:34 pm
Filed under: 2008, Black Jack, life, love, Mr. Wonderful

The beginning of a life……
June 29, 2008, 8:04 pm
Filed under: life, love, memories, The Pursuit of Happiness, thoughts | Tags: , ,

Time marches on to the tune of the wedding march.
June 24, 2008, 7:37 pm
Filed under: life, love, ME, memories, The Pursuit of Happiness, thoughts | Tags: ,

Over the past weekend, one of my best friends from high school got married. The first one of our clan. And while I talk to the rest of them only very rarely, it seems so strange to me that anyone that I hung out with every day, is taking the next step in life.


Someone said to me recently that the celebration of graduating college should be at your own personal moment of realization. It seems to me that I haven’t really yet had that ‘realization’. But her wedding was just so surreal. It was like it wasn’t happening, until it was.


Does anyone else have this feeling that life is just sort of going on around them? Until all of a sudden something is happening, and you’re snapped back into real life only to find yourself ten steps farther ahead in life than you were, with no real recollection of how you got there. Like you too a nap when you were 6 and now you’re 22. 

Finding the lost pages of the book of life.
June 10, 2008, 6:48 pm
Filed under: 2008, life, love, ME, memories, The Pursuit of Happiness, thoughts | Tags: , ,

Losing, loss, life, fighting, wanting, yearning, missing; things I know about. 


Acceptance, love, holding, forward movement; things I know a bit about. 


Finding myself, realization; things I know very little about. 


As of late, I’ve been on a hunt, a journey, a quest, a mission if you will, to find, me. Thats not to say I feel as if I’ve lost myself. On the contrary, I believe that in the last few years I have emerged for the first time as a true, at least truer, version of myself. 


I guess self (re-) evaluation is common place, at a time in life when you find yourself closing one chapter completely, yet desperately stuck between pages trying to start the next. Wondering if maybe you’re reading this book too fast, wanting to go back and re-read the best parts. Rip out the pages that you wish you hadn’t even looked at, and thinking, “what if I could just read the last few pages to find out how it all ends, so that the rest of the story makes more sense”. 


I have always devoured books, pushed through them to move on to the next. And up til now I’m realizing I’ve lead my short 21 years in the same manner. With the pages slowly turning towards this new chapter of life, I’m starting to slow things down, to linger over the language, savor the vocabulary, and admire the author as she writes out these inner monologues, and soap box rants.


There are always stories that you wish would never end. That you wish the author would just keep coming up with story line for, and if you’re lucky you feel the same way about your personal novel. I’m starting to realize that my apprehension with pulling apart stuck pages, is that I worry my book will be over too soon. That I’ll blink and be 17 pages from the end. So I’m keeping myself in a state of wonder about what the next chapter holds. If the main character has made the right choices thus far, and what she’ll do in the upcoming decades, what happens to the other characters, can she do it without them, and, and and and and. 


My mind goes a mile a minute about the next chapter, and then the story keeps me up at night, having gone from a harmless folk tale to a horror mystery giving little girls nightmares, and keeping me up at night, helplessly grasping at paper trying to pry them apart without them incurring damage. 


And then he smiles at me, or my dog licks my face, or my mom calls, and the edges loosen a little bit. 


I may not be ready to turn them just yet, but maybe with a little heat, and love they could be coaxed open.