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Tonight I became the stalled vehicle you always hear about on the radio.
You know the one I’m talking about, you turn on 1010 wins on ye olde AM radio, and listen to find out just how miserable you’re “drive”, and I use that term loosely, over the George Washington Bridge will be. You hear that there is in fact a 30 min delay, because of a stalled vehicle on the bridge or whatever.
Yeah tonight, that stalled vehicle screwing up your travel plans, that was me. In ye olde manual transmission pick-up truck. The truck stopped working precisely dead ever.loving.center. of the toll plazas crossing into New York, about a car length out of the tolls.
I have one piece of advice for y’all, do not get stuck on a bridge or tunnel for the following reasons:
1. It is classified as a 911 emergency if you are stalled on a bridge or tunnel.
2. The port authority just comes up behind you, barks orders at you over their loud speaker pushes you off the roadway, into the back parking lot of their building and leaves you there without any further information.
3. Everyone will honk, yell, scream, and flip you off, as you sit on the brink of tears in the cab of you pick-up truck, surrounded by the boxes your mom has collected for you, since you’re moving, again, while trying to pull around you to get on their way.
And finally, when the tow truck driver shows up, he will randomly be able to fix afformentioned problem with ye olde, pick-up truck. And you will feel like a stupid girl, who is in capable of driving, even though you’ve been driving it all week to south jersey and back.
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Will a woman notice?
Where does Gillette come up with this stuff.
In watching the news this evening I heard a lot of coverage about the swine flu, or I’m sorry, rather the H1N1 virus, which I will so very lovingly refer to from here on out ‘The Oink, Oink’. A lot of parents talked about how they think their children’s schools should be closed, and a school nurse that said, so many children have fevers and are showing symptoms that she can’t handle all the cases.
Now I’m sure no one wants to hear my opinion, bu- Oh you do? Great I was going to give it to you anyway. So here it is.
About 36,000 people die from regular old run of the mill flu every year. The oink oink has taken 8 lives. And while those 8 lives were truly valuable, the other 29, 992 lives that regular influenza took were just as valuable.
The man from the Department of Communicable Diseases in New York City, just said the following: ” Since we’ve never seen this virus before, no one has immunity to it, so it will spread” What the panicking masses just heard was “We are all going to get swine flu!!!!!”
And secondly, to that I say Dr. Weiss we have in fact seen swine flu before. Back in 1976 there was an outbreak, and you know how it was dealt with back then? The same way its being dealt with now. Over dramatics and fear inducing information. PANIC WE ALL MUST PANIC NOW!!
Observe the following PSA circa 1976 in response to the potential swine flue epidemic.
My favorite moment of that you ask? ‘ But Dottie had a heart condition so she died’
As of this very moment in this country of billions The oink oink has 5,170 confirmed cases, and 41 serious cases, as well as the aforementioned 8 deaths. 304, 059,724 people. Which means the percentage of people with swine flu are .0017% of our population.
We need to just stop panicking. And just breathe.